Warning: Adult Language Included
For most people, being turned on is very mental. What’s going on in your head is just as important as what’s going on with your body! That is why the art of verbal humiliation and dirty talk is so important! I know there is no better way to turn me on and ensure an explosive orgasm than by building me up by talking sexy to me for hours before I’m ever touched. It’s hot!
Are you and your partner into verbal humiliation, degradation, or submission? Do you get a thrill from having someone mess with your head? Want to make your partner squirm in anticipation hours before you get her in bed? Here’s some tips for how to talk dirty:
First, Babeland has a good guide for beginners in sexy talk. Feeling nervous? Want some ideas? Check it out!
Before we start, here are some basics:
- If you’re nervous, start small. There’s no reason to go from 0 to 10 in one night! Just something tame, like an impressed, “You’re so dirty!” to get the feel of it and gauge your lover’s reaction will work. In time, as you both get used to enjoying sexy talk, you can amp it up a bit.
- You’ll probably find your partner responds really well to certain words that just make them shiver. Find words that both compliment and insult them (they’ll respond well to both!) and use them depending on the circumstance.
- Even if you never cuss outside the bedroom, try it! Nothing turns me on so much as when my Dom uses cuss words to describe me. It adds an extra shock value because other than with me, he never swears! And since I’m a notoriously well-behaved, mild-mouthed Christian in public, it’s so hot when I can let go in the bedroom! (The Bible does say to watch your language, but I think God understands I’m just doing it in the bedroom for a thrill.)
- Experiment with different tones: whisper dirty words lovingly, sound disgusted, act angry, sound impressed, growl at them, laugh at them, couple nasty words with tender stroking or an unexpected slap.
- Don’t be too self-conscious. A lack of confidence when trying to dirty talk kills the mood.
- Practice, practice, practice! If you just can’t make yourself say the word “penis” out loud, try it alone first. Say them out loud to yourself, feeling the words roll of your tongue. As they become more natural, you can start to share them with your partner.
- Find a code-word, another language, or use an abbreviation (MLB for “my little bitch”). Then lean over and whisper it to your partner in public to get them feeling sexy and wanting to head home and to bed!
- Change it up! Don’t get stuck using the same two words all the time. Do research on dirty talk or use an online thesaurus. (Of course, if your partner has a favorite word or two, use them all the time! But still sneak others in.)
- Be able to laugh at yourself. Expect to make mistakes. Some words make people hot, some offend them and turn them off, and others will just make them laugh. Be willing to take risks and don’t take yourself too seriously if your partner just laughs or says, “Uh-huh.”
- Be creative. Don’t just call the person names; call their body parts names, too. (For example, calling someone’s butt their “jail cunt” or their mouth a “cum recepticle” can be pretty degrading, if that’s what you’re going for!)
Of course, there are also things you should not tease or name-call about! Never call your partner a name referring to something they are insecure about it real life. The point here is to turn them on and feel a little naughty, not to tick them off. Unless your partner specifically requests them, words to stay away from include:
- fat (or chubby, or big, or obese….)
- small penis (although there is a specific BDSM fetish called Small Penis Humiliation that some men crave… but that is for another post.)
Now, on the some specific ideas! (If you are easily offended, stop reading here and stick to Babeland’s G-rated guide!)
*Note: all the following are nouns (actual names you can call people). To
add variety to your favorite nouns, see my dom’s separate post on adjectives to
mix it up.
Dirty Words and Phrases:
- ass licker
- attention whore
- bad girl/boy
- ball licker
- coat rack
- cock craving
- cock sucker
- cum bucket
- cum dump
- cum dumpster
- cum junkie
- cum muffin
- cum rag
- cum recepticle
- cum slut
- cunt rider
- dick rider
- dog in heat
- fuckpole (guys only)
- fuck slave
- fuckstick (guys)
- good girl/boy
- jail pussy
- my little girl/boy
- pain slut (someone who enjoys pain)
- pussy licker
- rape toy
- sex slave
- spread eagle
- tongue fucker
- torture dollie
- 2-hole whore (guys only)
- 3-hole whore (women only)
- 3-holed cunt
Whew! I’m tired from all that writing! I’m sure there are more, but that will have to be enough… for now. *Evil grin*
I find it interesting to note that the “degrading” terms for women have to do with their sex drive (whore, slut, bitch–literally, a dog in heat) and for men have to do with feminization or homosexuality (jail pussy, little boy, faggot, whore, gay, pretty little girl). While I’m not sure why having a sex drive, being feminine, or being gay should be bad, such is our society and culture. Just make sure not to offend your partner: communicate, communicate, communicate!
Thanks to all the folks at Fetlife for their nifty name-calling ideas!
Let loose of your wild side and have fun! Happy playing!